woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
