can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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