He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
