So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize