worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize