I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
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We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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