Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
