I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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