so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
