I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
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i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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