And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
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