she sounds like chewbacca in bed
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Dicks are not precious.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
