where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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