I need help removing her.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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