I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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