your thong is hanging out like whoa
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
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