we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
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