This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
