why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
