He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
