today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
