I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
