3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
