if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
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