Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
