I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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