it wasn't lemon gatorade
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
