Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me
What? You're not speaking real words.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
