it wasn't lemon gatorade
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize