I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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