end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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