She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
