If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
