Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
