Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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