9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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