will power is for people who don't want to get laid
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
