i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
