You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize