Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
