Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
