I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize