nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
