it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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