I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
well you can't waste a boner
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
And then he peed in my hair
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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