when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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