Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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