lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
two words...techno handjob
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Randomize
