Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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