He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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