these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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