i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize
