Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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