Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize