can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
