tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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