She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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