She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
