I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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