Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
