so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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