9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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