Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
