so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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