Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
There's nothing wrong with using cocaine to keep my heart rate up in my fitness class.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
