The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
