Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
