He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
