We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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