Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
