Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
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He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
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If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
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